DEDICATION
PREFACE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
SECTION 1: Wearing a Yoke
CHAPTER 1: Yokes
The Yoke of the Religious Leaders
Removing a Yoke
Oneness and Separateness in Our Relationship With Jesus
A Single Opening Yoke or a Double?
Jesus Is the Yoke
CHAPTER 2: His Disciples Wore His Yoke
Their Mission
SECTION 2: The Ox Cart
CHAPTER 3: The Driver
Learning to Drive Our Cart
Let Our Training Begin
Childhood Agendas
God’s Provision
Temple of the Holy Spirit
CHAPTER 4: Your Ox
Your Original Relationship With Your Ox
God Offers a Better Relationship
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made?
CHAPTER 5: ‘One Mores’ and ‘Not Yets’
Our ‘One Mores’ and ‘Not Yets’
Worry
CHAPTER 6: Caring for Your Ox
Stigma of Age
Healing
Call the Veterinarian for Your Ox
A Personal Confession: Do Not Try This at Home
Stigma of Illness
Mental Disorders
Physical Trauma
What Is Done, Is Done
What Is Not, Is Not
Healing Revisited
CHAPTER 7 Your Cart
The Most Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Is your cart wonderfully made?
It Is Ok to Not Be “The Best” Parent or Caregiver
The Wheels on Your Cart
SECTION 3: Your Path
CHAPTER 8 We are All on the Same Path
Justification and Glorification
Proverbs 3:5-6
Signs on Your Path
Faith and Unbelief
CHAPTER 9: God Speaks to You
Is the Holy Spirit Still Active?
A Gift in a Box
Flesh and Blood Struggle?
Is it the Holy Spirit’s Voice or is it Mine?
Silent Presence
CHAPTER 10 :Our Mission
Who Gets to Be God?
Who Gets to Make Mistakes?
Exalting God
Being Conformed or Remaining Deformed
SECTION 4: His Church
CHAPTER 11: His Body
Constrained
An Imperfect Body
Characteristics of a Healthy Congregation
Characteristics of a “Healthy” Club of christ
Guarding a Congregation
Self-Serving Leaders and Captive Congregations
CHAPTER 12: Shrewd and Innocent, or Naïve
Randi
Snakes, Hawks, and Wolves
SECTION 5: You
CHAPTER 13: Knowing What You Know Now
SECTION 6: Helping Others
The Remainder of This Book
Four Possible Points of Concern
Acquiring Wisdom
CHAPTER 14: Relationships in General
Give and Receive
Expectations in a Relationship
Unequal Relationships
Family Relationships
Listening to Endless Complaints
Mindfill
Get Up and Walk
CHAPTER 15: Relationships Can Be Painful
Transference
Transference and Winning the Acceptance of Others
Transference of Trust
Con Artists and Trusting Transference
Scammed
Deceived in a Personal Relationship
Subconscious Transference
Projection and Projective Identification
Relationship Triangles
The Altar of Gossip
Family Strife
Some Family Pain is Unavoidable the First Time
The Distractions of Others Can Be Dangerous
Disrupting Your Inner World
Protecting Your Inner World
Be Authentic in Your Outer World
Jesus Can Transform Your Wounds into Convictions
Convictions into Ministry
CHAPTER 16: Well-Balanced Christians
CHAPTER 17: Offering Wise Counsel
Neurotic to Psychotic
The Need to be Needed
Convincing
Ambivalence
Contrarians
The Need for Approval Revisited
CHAPTER 18: Change
Failure
Calvary or Mount Sinai
Gradual Transformation
Change is a Response
Change is an Action
Personal Change Benefits Everyone in the Body of Christ
Barriers to Change
Barriers to Change in Relationships
CHAPTER 19: How to Give Wise Counsel
Answers Are Not the Answer
Boundaries
Do Not Forget Your Own Needs
Do You Want to Get Well?
Sometimes People Just Need a Little Encouragement
Questions to Help Friends Understand Themselves
CHAPTER 20: Pitfalls to Avoid When Helping Others
Vicarious Trauma
Vicarious Vengeance
Dislike at First Sight
Conviction From God or Condemnation
Forces in a Helping Relationship
CHAPTER 21: Helping Others Can Be Painful
Knowing Your Vulnerabilities and Changing the Rules
When Helpers Need Help, Friends Are Not Mind Readers
Judging Others
Cast Outs and Outcasts
CHAPTER 22: Cages and Hovering
Stay Out of Their Cage
Cages Can Serve a Purpose
A Cage Built Around a Cage
Out of One Cage and Into Another
Hovering
You and Your Friend’s Needs in a Helping Relationship
What We All Need as the Body of Jesus